DEAR ABBY


Dear Abby,

Got a problem. 
I'm a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner. 
It's important that my family eat meat at least three times a week. 
But we just can't afford to with the prices the way they are. 
So I bring home some choice cuts from my autopsy subjects. 
Just mix in the Tuna Helper…and ta-da! 

The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious. 
They ask me what's my secret. 
Abby, I think they're getting suspicious. 
My smart-ass 8-year-old keeps asking, "Where's all the meat? 
The red dye #2 kind that's kept in the fridge." 

If they find out the truth I don't think they'll understand. 
Abby, what do I tell my family? 
DEAR REAGANOMICS VICTIM: Consult your clergyman. 
Make sure the body's blessed and everything should be just fine.

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